Wondering

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing down here. What the heck am I doing in small town of 200 people in South West Saskatchewan. How are the plans that I have in mind for my life ever going to happen down here. I know that God has a bigger plan, God sees the big picture. God brought me here. But I hate not seeing the reason. All my friends are gone, on to new and bigger things. Why can't I leave.

God obviously brought me here. He dragged me out of Calgary three years ago, then opened my eyes and let me see very clearly why I had to get out. I don't think I could've got myself out if I had stayed, and it might have been too late.

I started working and completing more schooling 45 min north in a town of about 1800 people. Then this job opened up. I wasn't even considering it until my boss told me I should. That this might get me some good experience and I should at least look into it. So I did. I applied for the job, telling God that even tho I had just moved into an apartment 2 months earlier, if I was offered the job, I would trust Him and take it. I didn't want to move AGAIN. But God opened that door, and I walked through it.

So here I am. I have been here for 1 year and 4 months. It has been hard. God provides and I have more than enough to keep me busy. The community is great, the church is welcoming and supportive. But my childhood dreams are not falling into place as I had planned. Again I know God has His own timing. I need to continue to be patient. When I have been feeling the worst God has brought people into my life that have been lifting me up and encouraging me. But its still a struggle.

I don't feel called to go anywhere else, I am both content and restless here. In the past God has put an idea in the back of my mind of where I could go, where I could just SEE if there was a job opening or something. Right now there is none. I feel I need to stay, for now. It is hard to be content when everyone around me is moving forward with their lives. I feel like I'm stuck.

There is a song that keeps coming into my mind called Use Me Here. We used to sing it in one of my old youth groups. I think maybe as far back as Grades 8 or 9.

Use me here, where I am
I'm not gonna pray anymore that you'll change your plans.

Despite my fear, I place my life in your hands.
The future can wait, tomorrow might be too late.

So Jesus use me here.

Entertainment

I think there was a vacuum nearby....

Just thought you might enjoy some cute pics of my 'kids' LOL

Needles!

Here are some pics of us learning to do IV's in our PCP course :) ....I almost passed out from that because they had to dig around in my arm cuz my vein disappeared. They kept lifting the needle up under the skin to see where it was, it was both disgusting and cool at the same time.

So yesterday I went to Swift to get my shots for South Africa. Marian only had to get two shots so I thought it might be about the same for me. Well, thats definitely not the case. I have to get SEVEN altogether. I got three of them yesterday, two in my left arm and one in my right.

Its kinda funny that the RN decided to put two in my left arm cuz I am right handed, but only the one in my right arm hurts, my whole arm is stiff and sore and I hardly slept last night because I was feeling sick. I feel like crap today too. Arg!

I got Hep A IM (intra muscular) in my left arm and Polio SQ (subcutaneous ...into fat) in my left arm and then I got Typhoid IM in my right arm, and that one freakin' hurt!!

Actually I almost passed out from the Typhoid one. The RN gave me the other two then I turned to give her my right arm and when she put the needle in something weird happened. Its hard to explain but it felt like something exploded in my arm and it went all quivery inside, then as soon as that happened I started sweating and the room started to get fuzzy and I knew I was going to pass out. So I put my head down and took some deep breaths and the RN helped me to the bed and I laid there for a long time. It really sucked. I didn't actually pass out, but I hate that feeling. Its only happened to me once before after someone digging around in my arm with a needle trying to find my vein to take blood. But that time I actually did pass out.

I have to warn every nurse who trys to take blood...do not dig around in my arm, you can poke me 3 times if you have to but don't dig around! lol. I think it stems from my childhood, because I clearly remember being held down while they were trying to take blood and couldn't find the vein. They just kept digging around inside my arm hoping to hit a vein, and I was screaming. Not fun.